Jill's Blog Spot

Hi…I thought I lost Day 2, but I found it!!! Yayee catching on to this thing!! Doesn’t that show you that you can catch onto something after only 3 days!! Wow, I don’t have it licked but I am catching on!! Little by little we can conquer things if we don’t give up!!

To be honest, I typed 624 pages on here and then found Day 2 which changed the whole way that Day 3 needed to go so I clicked edit, erased the page, and here we go!!! SHIFT!!

Well, let’s talk a little more about where I got to travel in my new life of surrender!! When I went in the salon that morning, first thing I did was to tell the young man I worked with what had happened to me, after being told that I would be killed if I told anything. He asked if I was ok and I said, “Sure.”

This led to my friend, another stylist, that told her client, a police officer, about it. The officer asked if I could talked to someone else about it and I said, “Yes.”

Later, that week I met with a lady from the Rape Crisis Center and she showed me a photo album. I picked his picture out in there, and then had to pick him out of a lineup. Not exactly a fun procedure for this 23 year old that had grown up with a fairly sheltered life with Mom, Dad, one brother, one dog, dinner on the table every evening, in a very nice brick home in a very nice, safe neighborhood.

I must say that I was already slanted this direction. I never did really fit in the box and was meant for other things.

So, my friends had to go pick him out too,  because they had passed him as I went over to watch their little boy that night. They came home telling me that he said, “You tell her I will kill her if I get out.”

You know what? That was a risk I had to take because I didn’t want to see it happen to someone else. Which, I did, later on in years, see in the paper that he was out and molested a little girl that his wife babysat for….that did not make me happy.

I learned that he had been abused as a child (surprise?) and his brother had even burned their house down. So I learned not to hate a person, to hate that dark thing driving them.

I learned about the different kinds of people, their backgrounds, the demons tormenting them. I learned how to get free of my own.

I remember laying awake all night crying for something to change. I won’t ever say that God brings any bad things on you but I will say that He is the potter and I am the clay. And the outcome has been good.

This is just a very little bit of what I have walked through. You will hear it in the days ahead. I only hope that it can touch your heart, and help you understand the things people have gone through and the reasons they do things, and know that we can’t take things so personal.

Enjoy your day!! No matter what!! Don’t think of what you have lost!! Think of what you still have!❤

See you tomorrow😊

Hi…well came back like I said I would!! Part of being able to handle this SHIFT thing is to be able to handle adversity!! There are many voices that come at us everyday!! Voices that would like us to quit, get in fear,  and lose faith and confidence!! The more we press on and keep going the stronger we get!!

Lets get back to the time when I went through the crime…how did this affect my life? Honestly, when the man was holding the knife to my throat I made a deal with God, I told Him that if He would let me live I would do whatever He wanted me to on this earth. Hence,  me doing this right now. My survival always has depended on what kind of purpose there was in it and what good could come out of it!!! So the good is, helping others walk out of hard things.

The next day I did get up and go to work at the hair salon where I worked. When I drove there that morning the world seemed like a whole different place to me. I knew I was alive for a reason and a purpose. So when you go through change if you can stop and find the good in what you are facing. I know you say but what if it’s a death of your child or your spouse? I know, seems unfair doesn’t it? Seems like you can’t live again or breath anymore yourself. Grieving is allowed… sometimes even grieving when a good new thing happens in your life. Because sometimes you have to grieve and accept that life will just never be the same again. It really is ok for life to never be the same again though. That leaves the door open for the SHIFT of things and the new things before you. Some of the good feelings can’t come until you have gone through all of the stages to acceptance. If everything would have just kept going the same old way I wouldn’t have changed enough to be who I am today and I would be settling for status quo which has not been my life at all. I pretty much learned to live like every day might be my last day and that’s a good thing.

People get in ruts and get stuck in everyday things that get so boring but they don’t want to change. I think sometimes when you do that, you finally get blinded and don’t realize that you have made yourself quite a constructive cocoon to live and be safe in and if something comes along to shake you and rock your world you are totally not prepared at all. That doesn’t seem like a very safe place to be at all to me. That seems like a deceptive thing to me.

But then again, I was the one that promised God that I would do anything that He wanted me to on this earth and I think He made sure I have had some huge learning experiences to become ready and willing to plunge into some things He would have me do.

The experiences were like college to me, and they made me stronger, and they let me roll in the dirt sometimes and experience what other people go through,  and it made me see things from other’s perspective, and it made me love unlovable people more and it made me walk in a different realm of life. It made me let go of me and be the me He needed on this earth…

More tomorrow…let change happen, its alllllll good!👍🏼

 

Wow my first blog day!! I have a sneaking suspicion this is something I am supposed to be doing, because I had lots of opposition getting on here!! But up and rolling now and here we goooo!!

How is your day going? I have been gone over the weekend so just trying to get settled in back home… have recently had a shift in my life and getting way, way more busy than before… so thinking about priorities and figuring out what I’m really supposed to be doing and not doing, and of course there has to be time to rest and take care of ourselves.

You know what I mean by a SHIFT?? When everything seems to all change at once. I have had that happen many times in my life and I would like to help others figure out how to reroute when that happens! I am by no means an expert at it but I have been through many HUGE changes in my life!! I mean many completely getting the rug pulled out changes in my life!! When this happens we need to learn how to LET GO!! So what better way to learn than to go through it many, many times!!

When we are in times of transition we also must remember that things just are not perfect at that time. I would imagine that someone that hates change would be in a nightmare during that time. I mean who could really say that they LIKE change? I don’t think I could, but I can say that the end result of not changing is so, so worse than changing!!

One thing I have to learn to do now that I managed to get on this blog is to learn how to add things to it to make it look nice! This is probably so easy for some, but for me it is very, very scary!! I can’t believe I even got this far and that is VERY fun and exciting and worth the struggle!! Yay!!

As we go along we will be talking about many things. I was a victim of a crime at age 23, I got raped at knifepoint, I have had to have much Faith to hang on to sanity and much help!! So if I could do it, for sure you could too!! That’s just the itsy,bitsy beginning of all the traumas that I’ve been through!! So hope you join in while I’m on this journey to freedom and helping others get free!! It’s actually very exciting and I wouldn’t trade my story for anything under the sun!! It made me who I am today and I wouldn’t change me for anything!! I hope you make a point to be around people that love you and encourage you today because that’s one way to love yourself!!

I think I want to try this tomorrow too!😊❤